Heads Carolina, Tails California

"Baby, what do you say we just get lost?
Leave this one horse town like two rebels without a cause.
I got people in Boston.
Ain't your daddy still in Des Moines?
We can pack up tomorrow.
Tonight, let's flip a coin

Heads, Carolina Tails, California.
Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer.
Up in the mountains, down by the ocean.
Where? It don't matter, as long as we're goin'
Somewhere together. I've got a quarter.
Heads, Carolina Tails, California.

We can load what we own in the back of a U-haul van.
Couple modern day Moses', searchin for the promised land.
We can go four hundred miles before we stop for gas.
We can drive for a day, and then we'll take a look at the map.

Heads, Carolina Tails, California.
Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer.
Up in the mountains, down by the ocean.
Where? It don't matter, as long as we're goin'
Somewhere together. I've got a quarter.
Heads, Carolina Tails, California.

We're gonna get outta here if we gotta ride a Greyhound bus.
Boy, we're bound to outrun the bad luck that's tailin' us

Heads, Carolina Tails, California.
Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer.
Up in the mountains, down by the ocean.
Where? It don't matter, as long as we're goin'
Somewhere together. I've got a quarter.
Heads, Carolina Tails, California.

O---oh, California! Carolina! California!"

-- "Heads Carolina, Tails California" by Jo Dee Messina

Roxy's been listening to country music again, and talking to Brent about his August trip to California, where housing remains so expensive, compared with new homes Greenville SC. Brent is from Spartanburg, South Carolina, and now lives in Westchester, New York. He is always amazed when he travels home to visit his family and friends in South Carolina and sees the size of the homes they can buy for less than the price of his lovely home in the NYC suburbs. As Brent and I always say since we received this quote from a vendor increasing our monthly rate for services, "New York is a special place."

Taking the Fall for Brent's Peccadilloes (Again)....or How I Became a Cub Scout Den Mother

Do you like my uniform? I was the winning bidder for this hot little number on eBay last Halloween, when Brent decided that he would march proudly in the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade as a Cub Scout Den Mother, along with his troop of impressionable young boys. When bidding on this item, Brent did not want to appear sick and twisted to the Midwestern Mom who was selling it on eBay...so he used my eBay UserID and our office shipping address to acquire the lovely blouse, skirt, and cap combo. I'm not sure where he got the coordinating "women in comfortable shoes" pumps to wear in size 11.

After a successful Halloween Parade experience and his subsequent move to the suburbs, Brent no longer needs the Cub Scout Den Mother Uniform. He's not likely to be dressing in drag for the neighborhood Halloween parade this year and would prefer that his new nosy neighbors not ask too many questions when groping through his closets. I am, of course, charged with the task of unloading it.

In his recent efforts to find an antique kitchen table to fit his Mount Vernon decorating scheme, Brent experienced one of the issues of shopping "face to face" through Craigslist. While he ended up with the perfect kitchen table, Brent was frightened by what could have happened to the elderly couple who sold it to him if they let the wrong type of "buyer" into their home. And I'd rather not expose myself to the type of buyers who might be in the market for Brent's lightly used Cub Scout Den Mother Uniform.

We found a solution through iSold It, a "bricks and mortar" service in Brent's neighborhood (and yours), where would-be sellers can drop off any and all items you wish to sell. Then your local iSold It store sells it on your behalf, to a huge audience, on eBay. iSoldIt does all the work, photographing and listing your item on eBay. They send you a link so you can watch the action on eBay as it unfolds. After the item sells, iSoldIt collects the payment and ships your item to the winning bidder. Once the transaction is complete, they send you a check.

Problem solved, Cub Scout Den Mother Uniform unloaded. No prying eyes or curious visitors to Brent's natural habitat.

Candy's Wedding

I don't think I blogged much about Candy's wedding back in November, or even during the time leading up to it, but the subject came up on Easter Sunday when we shared all of our wedding photos with Grandmom.

Some of my loyal Roxiticus Desperate Housewives readers may remember how upset I was when Candy retracted her invitation to my little girls to be flower girls at her wedding. Brent and Fitz (who weren't even invited!) certainly got an earful. The excuse Candy gave us for her dear cousins' demotion from flower girls to just plain guests was that, because money was tight, there would be no bridal party other than her sister and Tad's siblings. Absolutely no flower girls or ring bearers. Then we all received her Contemporary Wedding Invitations noting the happy couple's wedding web site, where we found pictures of the hideous flower girl and ring bearers to be! I was so angry I tried to post a link to "Junie B. Jones: Almost a Flower Girl" on the wedding site, but the wedding site adminstrator never approved my comment...imagine that. What I think happened was that Tad's family offered to pay for the wedding as long as only members of Tad's family were front and center in the wedding party. As several of my friends have commented, "If those were the terms of my engagement, I would RUN in the opposite direction!" There is just something so wrong about lying to children, especially when they were going to be eyewitnesses to the flower girl and ring bearers at the wedding.

I might have suggested that Candy and Tad design their own 1st Class Wedding Invitations. There's a site that makes it easy to customize the style, colors and message. There are beach/ocean, florals, destination, cherubs, castle and fairytale themes... I'm sure there'd even be a way for Candy and Tad to highlight their betrayal. Instead, I just bought my Spanx and a gorgeous feathery flapper style dress, found stunning dresses for my beautiful non-flower-girls, and set out to have a good time.

In the end, Candy's wedding was lovely, the girls had a good time out on the dance floor at the reception, and I learned that my children don't hold a grudge the way their mom does. But Grandmom wondered why we had no pictures of the bridal party for her wedding album.

Planning a Vacation for Brent

I recently learned that Brent has never been to California! I do know that he does not take enough vacation time. So, over the next few weeks, I am going to plan out a trip to California for Brent and Fitz (these are my gay friends, I saw Malcolm X).

They will have to go in late July or sometime in August, in order to attend the Pageant of the Masters, a really cool event in Laguna Beach that I haven't been to in years. The web site describes it as "ninety minutes of living pictures - incredibly faithful art re-creations of classical and contemporary works with real people posing to look exactly like their counterparts in the original pieces. An outdoor amphitheater, professional orchestra, original score, live narration, intricate sets, sophisticated lighting, expert staff, and hundreds of dedicated volunteers have won recognition for the Pageant as the best presentation of its kind." The first time I went, over 10 years ago, I was skeptical. I was picturing an Edward Hopper "painting" with a couple of actors hanging around a pool table, but the way to think about it is people as the pixels of the painting.