Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Instructions to the Double "Sorry to Disappoint You" Part I...on Tucker Carlson

**NOTE TO "TESS": Hey, if you're reading this post and you'd rather I didn't dredge up your past by posting from my printouts of your blog archives, please shoot me an e-mail (Bree at Roxiticus Desperate Housewives dot com) or leave a comment here. As you can see if you follow the whole story here, I'm an admirer who's just wondering what happened to you after you took your blogging private**

As part of my ongoing Roxiticus Desperate Housewives 3rd Blogiversary tribute to Instructions to the Double, the blog that inspired Roxy to blog, I'd like to present "Sorry to Disappoint You," Tess' response to "The New Nanny Diaries Are Online" the July 17, 2005 Sunday New York Times article by Helaine Olen that started it all...

"If you have come to this little blog today looking for prurient details of a “nanny gone wild” and another “nanny diary” detailing the sordid life of a family she works for, I am very sorry to disappoint you. Contrary to an essay published in the Style section of the NYTIMES, I am not a pill popping alcoholic who has promiscuous sex and cares nothing for the children for whom she works with. Nope. If you look carefully through my archives, instead you will find a young woman in her mid-twenties who decided to work as a nanny for a year while she prepared to enter the next phase of her professional life; namely the life of an academic pursuing a PhD in English Literature specifically focusing on the Late Victorian novel. But for those of you who dont want to comb through the archives, I will offer a refutation of the salacious, malicious, and really quite silly essay written by Ms. Olen.

Ms. Olen opens her essay with eye-catching details designed to paint the picture of a prurient pill popper. She notes I mention biting my lovers, having sexual thoughts about Tucker Carlson, and taking sleeping pills. So, let's revisit those entries and see if they are really so titillating:"

Judge for's a Roxy Reprint, photo of Tucker Carlson courtesy of Roxy:

Inexcusable Crush Post -- October 16, 2004

"I didn't get a chance to read on Friday because I was enjoying my day in town and not latched onto my computer pretending to work on my statement of purpose (um...I like to read novels...Please pay me to read novels and then write something about how I like to read novels)....But this morning, post-shower, and still in my yellow towel, I visited the page and was treated to delightful links of Jon Stewart on CNN's Crossfire. Not having cable, I don't get to watch this "theater" of political debate. However, NBC's Chris Matthews show introduced me to the dorky and adorable conservative pundit Tucker Carlson and I am hooked. I wish I had cable because I love to watch this man pontificate. LOVE IT. Jon Stewart actually takes them to task

And he makes some good points. I listened and appreciated his good points. But then I started to think about all the dirty dirty things I want to do to Tucker Carlson.

Why Tucker Carlson? Its not just his boyish good looks or the attempt to be fashionably subversive with the ever present bow tie. Its not just the fact that he quickly gets hot under his striped collar. Its not just the fact that I strenuously disagree with everything he says. No, its all of it together.

Disagreement and Desire are intimately connected for me.

I blame my middle school librarian. I have stopped blaming my parents for my emotional wreckage and have moved on to far more influential figures: fifth grade best friend and my middle school librarian.

This well intentioned woman knew that I was somewhat precocious and in seventh grade she handed me a nicely worn copy of Pride and Prejudice. I read it in two days and was enthralled.

What was she thinking? This is a very serious book. Not a book for a child. No.

And ever since then, tension, disagreement, misunderstanding, disapproval, foolish summary dismissals, disdain, reproachful looks, false accusations, regret, and embarrassment constitute my idea of Romance.

A completely inappropriate intellectual competitive element heightens my sexual response.

What can this lead to?

Sure, it works out for Elizabeth Bennet and Darcy (Though even Elizabeth Bennet's story ends with marriage. Just early 19th century novelistic conention or something more?)

What can this lead to?

Inexcusable crushes on pseudo intellectual political conservatives. Maybe I should have just read Sweet Valley High like the other girls and saved Austen for college."

Back to the Future (July 16, 2005): "Sorry to Disappoint You" continued:

"Yes, I mention that I want to do "dirty dirty" things to Tucker Carlson. I don't offer details. So, I am assuming that Ms. Olen's imagination ran away with her and she decided that it was very sordid. But on a closer reading of this post you will find I use Tucker Carlson, a noted conservative pundit, as an example of how opposites attract. How intellectual tensions between two people can actually fuel romantic desire. And then I do something really deviant. I compare my crush on him to the romantic tensions in Jane Austen's famous Pride and Prejudice. Yep, my version of the erotic has more to do with long walks and serious conversations. Of course, Ms. Olen does not point that out in her essay. My interest in literature and how I weave it through more common daily reflections would probably detract from her intent to show me as an irresponsible party girl. But there it is, on the blog she so strenuously objects to."

-- from Instructions to the Double, "Sorry to Disappoint You" posted by "Tessy" on July 16, 2005 --

To be continued...

Thanks for reading!



SpicyBug said...

Hi Roxy! That was a lot of reading! Here to give you my vote.

ipod battery said...

Yes,I was expecting something else on your post but still I found it interesting to read.

Mr Bsnl broadband guru said...

hi first comment here good blog .. will keep following here :)