Speaking of Lapdance Haircuts...Time for Back-to-School Victory Hair for Roxy, Rex, London & Maddie!

Speaking of the strangest Google searches, it is still true that Roxiticus Desperate Housewives is number one for "lapdance haircut," thanks to the bizarre juxtoposition a few months back of a post about blogosphere buddy Deb on the Rocks, who uses the word lapdance on her EntreCard, and a post about my fabulous hairdresser, Madeline, who comes to my house every six weeks to create my Victory Hair... a special two-color blondest blonde and blondest strawberry highlighting process that gives me that unique look you've all come to know and love.

Madeline and I go waaaay back, but she does NOT provide lapdance haircuts, not even for me. Madeline has been doing my haircuts and highlights for about 25 years, including those wild single years when Roxy and Melissa competed every weekend in the Ultimate Flirting Championship in each and every one of those cheap little seaside (Jersey Shore) bars. As a client once told me many years ago, everything changes when you have children, but Madeline will always be the source of Roxy's Victory Hair.

As Labor Day is fast approaching, it is almost time for the Roxiticus Desperate Offspring to start the first and second grade at Mendham Township Elementary School, and they need back-to-school Victory Hair to start the school year right. On Tuesday morning, as we drive back up north after spending most of August at our beach house in Bay Head, we'll have the windows rolled down and I'll be singin' Tonight's the Night, since Madeline will be over for a visit in the evening... we'll drink a little wine, enjoy some girl talk, and by the end of the night, my hair will look ooh la la terrific. While my highlights are setting and I'm wearing tin foil on my head like a creature from outer space, Madeline will cut Rex's hair and give London and Maddie a trim, too. Then I'll read the girls a bedtime story, pack them off to their rooms, and SHAZZAM! One thing will lead to another with Rex, and there you have it...Victory Hair! As London would say, "Yay me!"

For those of you who can't get a Victory Hair house call, Madeline works at The Edge in Landing, New Jersey and can be reached for an appointment at 973-398-3988. Just ask for Roxiticus Desperate Victory Hair: Roxy's special cut/style, the two color highlights, then maybe add a dash of Extreme Style by VO5 and you've got it... my secret's out!